Ballet Dreams & Me!

The other night, my cousin invited me to watch the BalletCenter show of The Little Mermaid at Onstage Cinema in Ayala Center Cebu. Apparently, my niece, her daughter Constancia was one of the dancers. And so, me, my 6 years old son (had to bring him as I had no yaya at that time, and who clearly said that he would only watch but would not ever be a ballet dancer as ballet is only for girls!) and my two titas trooped to the cinema to watch. As this was my first ballet show, I was quite excited and boy was I surprised! The kids were simply amazing.. They danced, they piroutte (correct spelling?), they stand on their toes, they jump and they danced! For 1 hour and a half, I was immersed in their portrayal and interpretation of The Little Mermaid. The costumes were oh so nice too.. As I watched my niece do the ballet (Good job Tash :)) and reflect on how graceful she was, I could not help but wonder, what would have changed in my life, if I too took ballet lessons when I was a kid? Would I have improved my dancing skills? Would I have been more outgoing? Or the obssesive-compulsive being that I am, would I have spent my entire time learning the ballet even if I dont have a talent for it? Would I have stuck with it? Would I have had the discipline to take lessons year after year? It made me think back to the time when I took art lessons as a kid. It was a summer thing (most probably, my mom enrolled me so I would have something to do for the summer), and I remembered how much I enjoyed painting. Up to now, I still have some of my art work at that time. But sadly enough, after that summer, I never went back to the arts.. I didn't continue to paint, to sketch or to draw. Though, I would not say that I would have become the next Michaelangelo, but I would like to think that if I had pursued that skill, I would be an above average painter by now.. i guess, watching the ballet made me realized, that to achieve your dreams, you have to work hard for it and have the discipline to do it every day... So now, I am taking stock of all my unfinished projects, and vowed to finish it sometime within the next few months.. These includes my 8 year unfinished crostitch of the Serenity Prayer, my crochet experiments and maintaining this blog. So far, out of the three, I have started with the last one... and I vow that I will finish the first one too.. Crochet? Something I have to think about... and maybe, just maybe, I would go back to painting one of these days.. Oh and better yet, maybe i will do something new like take up belly dancing or ballroom? I never had the guts to try... But I sure am thinking bout it now :)

Writing and Me!

i've concluded that writing and me dont always match... i mean, look at this blog for example - when i started it, i was so excited.. i thought it would be so easy, as writing has always been easy for me.. in my over-confident state, i thought i could post blogs every day. i even listed down topics which i could write about.. and boy, believe me, there were a lot.. but since the time i opened my blog last july, its been 3 months, and all i've got to show for it are 2 blogs.. hay! is it writing? or is it just me not having the time to write? or gosh! is writing just not that into me? or maybe.. because i write a lot of things in my work everyday - emails, memos, presentations, newsletter, speeches and what-have-yous - that at the end of the day, i just run out of energy and words to write.. just this evening, i told my sister (who's a writer by the way) that i seem to write better in my head than on paper,or in my blog, as the case may be. my sister in her great writer wisdom, told me that when i have the ideas, i should immediately write it down.. but the thing is, you see, i get this crazy sentences in the most inconvenient of places... when i take a bath, when i'm in the jeepney going to the office, when i'm in the middle of my grocery and even when i'm about to go to sleep and just too tired to get up and write it down.. sometimes, the words even came to me when i dream, unfortunately, when i wake up, i cant seem to remember what it was i was supposed to write down!! but since i really want to maintain my blog and write my life as it unfolds(and of course, earn from this, hehe), i made a pact with myself just now to write every week and make an entry to my blog. whether, it be just a 1 line entry or a 5 page long rant, I WILL DO IT! so, my friends, help me in my mission - remind me each week to write... and i hope to God, I have the will and discipline to do it :) till next week....

Dreams

Dreams are really weird right? I mean, everytime we go to sleep, we dont really know what will happen.. IF we will dream that night? AND if we do dream, what's it gonna be about? It would have been nice if we will dream about helpful stuff - such as - what will happen to that important interview tomorrow? the number that would win the grand prize in the lotto? that all important edge' to make the boss happy? Things like that. Unfortunately, most of the time, we dream of weird stuff.. sometimes, crazy stuff..like the other night for example, i dreamt that i was being chased by a dragon and just when it was about to breathe fire on me, i fall off the cliff.. now, in reality, i nearly fell off my bed and landed on my son (who was sleeping on the bed below me) Now, that would have created a big fuss.. but it got me thinking.. what was the meaning of my dream?
when i was taking up gestalt therapy as one of my subjects in my undergrad psych course, dream interpretation was part of it. my teacher told me, that my dreams means only two things - (1) it is a statement of my life and/or (2) it is an unfulfilled wish...

So what was the dragon? what does it say about my life? i guess, if i were to become 'psychological' about it, it would represent the 'problems' that i am facing right now.. but then, what would 'falling in the cliff' means? does it mean that i would fail in solving my problems? I hope not..

I guess, this is something that I have to think about more deeply and at this point, I am not ready to face it :)

In the end, I still believed that though my dreams is a statement of my life right now, it doesn't mean that I will let it be my life forever... just like my ever changing dreams, I still have the power to change my life...

After all, life is meant to be lived.. not dreamt..

If There were dreams to sell...

I got this from somewhere.. I couldn't remember anymore.. but i know this was a poem... Anybody knows?

If there were dreams to sell

What would you buy?

Some cost a passing bell;

Some a little sigh

that shakes from life's fresh crown

Only a roseleaf down.

If there were dreams to sell,

Many and sad to tell,

And the crier rung the bell.

What would you buy?

Buying dreams... nice if you can do it. Some people can. Some can't/ Some dreams aren't for sale.... but keep on dreaming anywayz.. who knows??? Your dreams might just come true...