Our Crazy Road Trip!

For our birthdays (our birthdays are only two days apart) my honey spent a couple of weeks here in Cebu. So, to celebrate, we decided to go on a road trip up north. Initially, we wanted to try out El Salvador in Danao, but we figured, why spend money on hotel when we could get it for free? And so, we decided to spend a couple of days and nights in our beach house in Medellin. On the first day, we just spent it at the house. We swam, ate and bought fish (the prices there are really unbelievable and what's more, the fish are fresh.. right off the sea! yummy!). The next day, our son decided that we have to go to our 'bukid'. My family owns this 5 hectare or so land that is located in the mountains somewhere in Medellin. The mayor was building a zipline beside our property and we wanted to see the progress. So off we went! It was drizzling and wet, but we figured, we can always take an umbrella right? Now, the thing about me is that I am very lousy with directions. Every single time, somebody gives me directions. I just nod my head and assume that I can find the place. I've been to our bukid many, many times so I thought ‘we couldn't get lost right?’ Boy was I wrong! We took several wrong turns and we ended up in this road going to Bantayan. It was cemented and so I knew that we were on the wrong track. After several wrong turns, back tracking, u-turns, and what have you, we finally made it to our destination, about 30 minutes late :) The zip line was finished and the view was breathtaking. We then went down and went to our land and checked on it. Since it was raining the last couple of days, the road was very muddy and we couldn’t go on the mountains by foot. An old man informed us that the government was making a road up in our property and that they were even cleaning a cave as a tourist attraction. .At the sound of 'cave' my honey’s ears perked up so we decided to go check it out. True enough, there was a cave, they called it the Adventure Cave, and interestingly, it was the cave located on our property. My dad apparently didn't know that they were going to develop it. Boy! was my manoy mad when he found out about it! After going inside the cave (it was smelly!) and spending some time there, we decided to go return home. As we were deciding which way to go, we remembered the asphalted road that we travelled on. Since we were curious as to where it went, we decided to take a risk as usual and took the road less travelled. It was miles and miles of sugarland, and the fuel in our pajero was almost empty (we weren't able to fill it up because there was no available fuel in the gas station). After driving for what seemed like a long time (though it actually took only about 30 minutes), we finally saw that the road apparently lead back to Medellin. Hahaha. The thing about us (me and my honey!) is that we normally like these road trips where we don’t exactly know where were going. We just bring a map along and hope for the best. Like the time we went to San Remigio and ended up lost a few miles away and had to travel through some bumpy and isolated road to go back. And several other trips that I won’t mention here! As my sister always says, that's how we get our thrills :) Finally, we ended up back home. In the afternoon, we had to go back to the city, and so as a final 'tourist' destination, I wanted to go to this Watch Tower that the mayor advertised in town through a billboard. I've been looking at that billboard for quite a while now and I was really curious as to what it was. So as usual, armed only with the address 'Tindog Medellin' we went looking for it. Right off the bat, we got lost again! We had to backtrack and when we turned the corner to the right direction, we decided to ask for help. It turned out the watchtower wasn't even in Tindog but in this place called Canhabagat. (I wonder why the address says ‘Tindog’ when its not the right one? Hmm,, oh well!) A trio of high school girls said that we just had to go straight ahead and when we get to the church, which they said was near, we were to turn left. So we continued on. We realized that ‘near’ is relative since the church wasn't near for us after all. When we tried to turn left, we found it was the wrong way, so we had to go back again. Apparently, right was the way to go. So we continued on again. We eventually saw the cemetery, (as the girls said that we can pass by through the cemetery). Now imagine this, it was already dusk as it was around 5PM, and it was a long deserted road. When we turned down the road towards the cemetery, it was a dead-end. There were only 2 persons that we saw and when we stopped to ask for direction, i realized that the man was holding a bolo. Hahaha. That got us scared! He said that we had to continue on and when we reached a corner, we turned left. As usual, the direction left much to be desired. We found out there were 2 corners. Good thing the first corner was a dead-end, so we decided to continue. And we continued. And we continued. And we continued. The town of Canhabagat was a long way to go. We passed by the most deserted place we’ve ever seen and there weren't even houses there! All we saw were mango trees that could not answer us. We had no choice but to continue. Until finally, we saw civilization. We asked some people again for directions. They pointed us to the right way, and finally, finally we arrived at the Watch Tower. Boy, was i disappointed! The Watch Tower was in the middle of the sea and since it was already 5PM, nobody was there. It was located at the end of a dirt road, and we couldn't figure out why it was advertised. There was nothing special about it and there was no explanation at all. It looked exactly like the billboard. We couldn't stop laughing at ourselves. We had to take pictures. When we were on our way to Cebu, we found out that it was much nearer and easier if we just followed the main road. We could have saved time and fuel! But on second thoughts, I wouldn't trade that crazy road trip to find the Medellin Watch Tower for anything! It was super fun and for sure, the next time we will again go somewhere new, we'll conveniently forget to ask for better instructions and we will definitely get lost along the way. But let me tell you, its sure is more fun that way!.. After all, it is not the destination but the journey that matters!
- Reminiscing of a drastic dreamer –

8/6/2010

Remembering Bora

A long, long time ago, I had my first trip to an island paradise known as boracay. I went there with my mom to go after my brother. Boracay was not as commercialized then as it is now. It was a sudden trip and I had to pack hurriedly. And so I bought a couple of shorts, t-shirts, 2 tapes and my walkman… Yup, it was still walkman then.. Come to think of it, I went through the whole music player types - from the walkman to the discman, then the i-pod and now the i-touch.. hmm.. but I digress - … anyway, we were there in bora for 3 days and 4 nights and up to now, I could still remember how peaceful that time was.. all I did was listen to the 2 tapes that I bought ( a james ingram and david foster tape) over and over again.. slept under the coconut tree, eat and sleep again.. though, I’ve been back to bora several times since then.. that first trip was really magical for me… and so, I’m writing down the lyrics of the 2 songs that I played over and over again.. until now, whenever I hear these two songs, I remember bora…. And how I wish, I could go back there again… soon…

There’s No Easy Way – James Ingram

I wasn’t heart-broken at that time, but somehow, the song spoke to me and my only wish is that if I do get my heart broken, I’d have the same style and pride that this girl has…

I held her close to me
Coz I know she breaks so easily
And then I told her
Though I knew no matter how I tried to console her
Then she’d do the best she could
But there are times the best is no damn good
And no matter how you try to be kind
There’s always still a part of you you’ll leave behind
When they fall apart
There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart.

I lied and told her she’ll be fine
Though we both knew it was just a lie
I had to do it
Coz I had said anything to help me get through it.

And she reached out for my hand
And her simple touch was more than I could stand
And I had to turn away coz I knew
All the hurt that she was feeling, I was feeling too
When they fall apart
There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart.

She could’ve gotten angry
And made me feel like a guilty child
But I realized that never was her style
I wanted her to hurt me
And not treat me like a friend
I wanted her to say “there’d be someday
I’d come crawling on my knees to ask her back again”
But she acted like a lady till the end
Oh, what a lady!

I thought that she’d break down
But she smiled at me and never made a sound
And I guess she understood in her way
Coz her silence told me everything she could not say
When they fall apart
There’s no easy way to break
There’s just no easy way
There’s no easy way to break somebody’s heart

Anything for Love
Lyrics by Gordon Lightfoot / Music by David Foster

this one, I couldn’t really point out why I soo love the song, but I just do.. against reason and logic, I love this song… at that time, I wondered.. will I really do anything for love?.. but now, several years older and wiser.. I guess, at some point in our life.. we’d really do anything for love….

In my life
In my time and in each line I've ever sung and in my life
Was it my imagination or are you still the one
Who lingers on
I'd anything for you, you'd do anything for me
We'd do anything for love
Oh you'd use any means and I would try any scheme for love
We'd do anything for love
Once or twice, in my loneliness I watched the world go by
There was I, one too many miles beyond where you might say
Some luck was due, after all
We could have touched the sky, you had no alibi because
We'd do anything for love
Oh I would try any means, to have you in all my dreams because
You'd do anything for love
Not long ago as I remember
Once upon a dark and windy day
When love looked like a dying ember
Before you came to call
The beauty of it all I thought I'd lost and yet
Cause in my life, here in my mind in it now shines
A guiding light, never again will I lose my way
Oh I would not tell a lie and you had no alibi because
We'd do anything for love
Oh you'd use any means and I would try any scheme for love
Simply anything for love
Oh I would do anything, just about anything because
We'd do anything for love, anything for love

Expectations

Why do we continue to have high hopes even knowing that it hurts? I’ve been hurt countless times, over and over again by the same person, yet I haven’t learned my lesson. Right now, it hurts so much. Why do we keep expecting things from people who we know will always let us down? When do we say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? When do we stop hitting our heads against the brick wall? When do we know that forgiveness is divine but to forgive again is stupidity? When do we draw the line and say ‘l’ll love myself more today than I love you?’ When do we say that ‘I’ll put myself first than you?’ When do we stop fooling ourselves?
I guess the better question, is WHY? Why do we keep doing things that hurt us? Why do we keep going back to the person who we know is bad for us? Why do we love others more than we love ourselves? Why do we become martyrs even knowing that martyrs are shot? Why do we put our happiness in the hands of others? Why do we keep slapping ourselves over and over again?
We’ve all heard the lessons, the stories. But it seems like we never really learn from it. Deep in our minds we know that in loving someone, we must always keep a part for ourselves. But it seems like we never do that. We just give it all to that person. The Gestalt prayer says “I am I and you are you, I’m not in this world to live up to what you expect of me, nor are you here to live up to mine. If by chance we meet, its beautiful. If not, it cannot be helped”. I’ve memorized that, I’ve sung it but it’s such BS you know. We can’t really completely say, it cannot be helped, because deep down, we always wish, expect and hope that it could be help somehow, someway. We try so hard to fit a round object in a square peg until the round becomes dented and will finally fit in the square. But, it can be done… with a cost… A cost that I find so high to pay, yet I could not help but pay it.
Tears I can shed. Heartache I can bear. But everytime you hurt me a part of my heart gets broken, and no matter how much I try to mend it, I can’t do it. The really sad part is that, the broken heart hardens and I don’t know if it would ever thaw again. Bad.. so bad..
The ironic thing is that, the person who means so much to me and has the power to hurt me so bad, doesn’t really know how much he has hurt me over and over again.
But I know myself.. this too shall pass… tomorrow is another day. And knowing myself, my anger, hurt and pain will just wash away like the sandcastle in the beach, and I would not be able to remember this moment again until the next time it happens. And trust me, it will happen again. Pathetic right?
Will somebody punch me in the head to make it right? My head must have rattled loose sometime in the past and has never been the same again, maybe that’s why I’m such a loser.. anybody out there? Punch me please?

musings from a sad and lonely dreamer drastically wishing for life to be just a little better –
04-05-2010.9:20 pm

Love Is Blind!

They say that love is blind. as William Shakespeare once said:

"love is blind
and people cannot see
the petty follies that they themselves commit"

is love really blind?

Case#1: in the television series 'lie to me' the female lead character jill's husband is having an affair. now jill is supposed to be an expert in detecting when people lie or when they're telling the truth. however, she doesn't seem to be aware that her husband is lying all the time. love is blind? but you'd argue that this is just fiction right? well, take a look at case #2.

Case #2: i read in the news of a mother who's son is into drugs. all the signs are there, people are telling her that her son is a drug addict. but she still insist that her son isn't one.. until the day that her son was arrested in a drug bust. now she tells people that her son was just framed... love is blind?

or what about the dozen little ways in which we turn a blind eye to the faults of our loved ones? phrases such as.. "oh he'll turn out to be a good person"... "he's not stupid, he's just a slow learner"... "he's doing it for my own good" (when in fact, its for his own good)... "he'll grow to love me one of these days"...

some might call it acceptance.. others contentment... but doesn't just this proves that love is blind? and that we indeed cannot see the follies that we commit in the name of love?

i've done my share of follies.. a friend once told me (during one of the darkest times in my love life) to wake up and see what i'm doing to myself..

but despite all these... if being loved-blind means i've accepted the person for what he is and that i find contentment with him.. then.. what the hell... LOVE IS BLIND... who cares??

My Weird and Crazy Relatives!

I love my relatives.. i really do.. though i seldom saw them but when we see each other.. its riot.. and it seems like we've never really been separated.. i recently saw most of them when we went back to davao to attend our annual reunion.. its actually been several years since we went back..
.. and so to commemorate that event, i have compiled a description of each of my cousins and titas and titos as i've known them all these years... did i get you right guys??

this is for you... .. i had a hell of a time guys.. and i miss you all.. till the next time :)mwah!


my crazy cousins...

tonton - the eldest who migrated away to the land down under
criselda - the accountant who budgets everything
manoy - the bohemian rebel who lives the good life in paradise
mapet- the small dictator with the pretty dimples who organizes all of us
chris - the transporter who takes us anywhere and everywhere
maila - switzerland and the rational voice of the group! and a peacemaker too
maya - my sexy cousin who seems to know all sorts of weird little unknown facts and things
francis - the absent minded professor who forgets things
elena - the little mother who take care of everyone
louie - the photojournalist who is a neat freak
nenen - my pretty little sister who writes about life
nimrod - the super active little boy who grew up
nicole - the aussie who loves to dances and does it so well
fritz - the active little boy who has not grown up yet
jethro - a man of few words who still has his own world
katrina - the little girl who now has a little girl of her own

ali baba and the seven dwarfs:

tita manay - the eldest who loves teleseryes
tita leonor - the sister with the unique sleeping and eating patterns
tita ester - the principal who takes everything on an overnight trip to the beach (even the bug spray)
my mother - the smartest who made lolo ando cry
tita shirley - the story teller who tells such beautiful stories
tita ayan - the youngest sister and our eldest cousin who teaches us about mother earth
tita susan - the independent sister who can take care of herself
tito dodong - the favorite son and the favorite uncle of all

Take A Chance on Life!

i've been meaning to write another entry in my blog for the longest time now.. but as usual, things got a little off schedule.. what with the last minute decision to fly to davao to attend a family reunion (it was a whirlwind.. 4N and 3 1/2D went by in a blur!), getting sick on new year, two 'balikan' trips for this month (imagine, its only the first 27 days of 2010, but i've travelled already three times! Gosh!), sinulog, work.. things just got away from me and before i knew it, the love month is almost here!

anyway, i saw this saying (see the title) in my old organizer which i bought around 10 years ago and amazingly enough has survived all these years.. the phrase struck a chord in my heart.. do i take a chance on life? do i go out of my comfort zone and explore what's out there? i dont know... i really dont.. one thing's for sure though -- there was a year in my life where i did just that... when i went a little crazy and did things i never would have thought i would do... that was one hell of year! and up to this time, everytime i think of that year, it still brings a smile to my face.. i could say, i took a chance in my life once and it was definitely worth it :)